Being a true Indian, I have all faith in the position of Vice-President (VP). I am still better otherwise a few countrymen have faith in anti-nationals and terrorists as well. Raise your hand if you thought of JNU & K.Kumar after reading anti-national. Shut-Up all you people – he is the youth icon or I would say a jobless youth-icon and most of the unemployed or I should say illiterates are following him. So, when ex VP said – Muslims are in fear, the first person came in my mind was Owaisi. You know, Owaisi can scare wild animals too, however, he is one among those. Okay, I am sorry – PETA can sue me for disrespecting the animals. Forget it! Let’s come to some sensible thing. Do not giggle, I didn’t say – Owaisi is non-sense, you are thinking such – I cannot do anything about it.
So, I took the words of VP seriously. However, even he himself doesn’t take his words seriously. I planned of becoming a goon in the Muslims dominant area assuming that they are in fear and hence, I would be able to dictate them, comfortably. You know becoming a goon is the first step to enter politics. Shhhhh… silence! who is saying – ‘Your title must be Gandhi to Join Politics. I do not want anyone trolling Gandhi family this way, Pappu is doing enough of those things. Let’s do not interfere in his personal job. And Yes, stop calling him pappu because as per Arnab all he rote are three words – my mother, my father and grandmother; so better you call him a family guy or kid version of Alok Nath. Again! You pushed me to discuss useless thing, get back to the story.
So, I unbuttoned upper two buttons of my shirt as a declaration of becoming a goon. In India – you are judged by your attire. Kurta-Pajama -politicians, short dresses- whores, Tie-salesman, Blazer – Businessmen, Sherwani-Groom, sandals and tore shirt – Kejriwal. What the hell is this – is this crucial to bring Kejriwal in every single thing? This poor fellow is in a process to make an entry in Guinness book of World Records. How? He has not spoken even a single world against P.M Modi in last one and a half month. Even, I have not watched a single movie in recent months, all curse to kejri uncle – he is not writing movie review, these days. Enough about the Dharna-Man! Let’s continue with the story!
I equipped myself with a big thick stick, and yes I am not an RSS agent. Sickulars can connect me to RSS as I took stick instead of other things. I could have taken a Hockey to pay tribute to Major Dhyanchand but then thought why should I pay tribute to him when the government of my country do not find him suitable for Bharat-Ratna. Instead, we bestowed Bharat Ratna upon the Rajiv-Gandhi, who praised corruption in open and was named in Bo-force scam. Who would waste Bharat Ratna on some-one who has just won three back to back Gold Medals in Olympics. And stop giving me suggestions that you should have picked up the stone because it is trademark item of a few people in Kashmir-Valley. These peaceful people want Aazadi but when soldiers try to offer the same – They disappear in thin air. Very Unfair! No No No, stop Yami Gautam, I am not talking about unfair skin – I don’t want any Fair n Lovely.
I borrowed a Bullet-500 motorbike from my friend and went to Muslim area with that big thick non-RSS stick. You know having a Bullet motor-bike in India is a manly thing. So, stop going to Doctors if you have problem with the manhood, buy Bullet – it will do the job. And as soon as I entered the location, I roared – Bhai is here! Do not look for Salman Khan, he is the bhai who is just being-human, especially after killing black-buck and you all know about Hit & Run. Also, you cannot afford to say ‘bhai’ to a person who is your uncle’s age. What I did after that will be covered in the next part of the blog which will be unveiled next week. Do not scream – if you can wait for close to two years to watch Baahubali-2, then one week is not a big deal!